Week 1 on the Candida Diet!
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Week 1 on the Candida Diet!

December 10, 2019

Hello and welcome to week one of the Candida cleanse. This is what I eat now. Actually, no, ’cause I don’t even eat this. I can’t eat this. Er, I eat the water…the broth. I’ll show you. This is–this is all I can eat, the only thing. Broth. And water. Obviously. So obviously this Candida cleanse
is a good thing for me. Because, as I said in my previous video,
it’s going to get rid of the Candida, then maybe in the future I can just eat… normally, like everyone else does. This is good. Yes, this is what we want in life. The only thing I can eat is the broth and some water and here’s my excellent recipe for broth! ♪ Lively music ♪ It tastes– it-it tastes OK. If you like vegetables. Now, obviously I have, for the past however many years, been eating mainly fish and vegetables; I’m OK with that – it’s good. If you are the type of person who eats
mainly hamburgers, it’s probably going to be…quite hard for you. Symptoms so far… well, yesterday Claudia came home
and just found me crying. I don’t know why! But that is what I do now, I cry. I just get sad. [Mock tearfully] About, like, everything! Also, I am *so* hungry. I am actually–I actually feel like I’m starving,
I’m so hungry. It’s been two days. It is Day 3 of the Candida Cleanse and I’m getting a spot. Other symptoms that show that it’s actually working: impaired brain function, headaches, fatigue, dizziness, Intestinal distress, Hm, nice. Sweating and fever. Sinus infection and flu-like symptoms. But, maybe weirdly, I’m actually feeling quite, like, awake and…energetic, and maybe more so than I do normally. Normally I feel quite tired. But I haven’t eaten anything except broth
for like the last… three days. Maybe I’m just going stir-crazy, ’cause I only have a dog to keep me company. [Laughs] [Frustrated] Mmmmmm. Nope… the energy crash happened. [Mumbles grumpily] I’m hungry, and sad. [Cabbage crunches] [Cabbage crunches again] Day 4! It’s going well! I’m out of my bed. Excellent! Put on clothes. Excellent! I think, maybe, no food is giving me, like,
weird amounts of energy I don’t know. I feel good. You can’t see, because I am wearing make-up, obviously, but my face is so shiny. It’s like everything bad in my body is just leaving. But, yeah, energy! Weirdly! I was wrong, and my head hurts. My eye hurts, my face! I’m really hungry. [Vegetables clink into bowl] [Dramatic newsreader tone] Day 5. Coming to you from the sofa, because this is where I live now. [Normally] So, yesterday, I was meant to start the steamed veg, um, but… but Claudia came home from work and was like,
“Pfft, no.” “No.” “You need to eat some more.” Erm… Um, so Claudia… uh, made me– made me eat an egg. [Laughs] Actually, three eggs. I had some scrambled eggs, which was probably like, a very good idea, really, because I know that it’s not… like, the proper– the proper way of-of doing it, and the whole cleanse idea is to cleanse and clear your body but my body isn’t, like, the strongest, so… probably better. [Yawns] Rather than just lying everywhere. Day 6. And… I’m feeling really… [Inhales deepy] I’m feeling forgetful, is actually what I was going to say. Um… I feel really, like, flu-y, but, uh, continuing with the eggs from yesterday, I’ve decided to have one protein source every–k I know, isn’t that the best sign? Protein. ‘Cause it’s like ‘p…’ but it’s a group of things. Because I–I love steamed vegetables. I do. But… That is what he does, every single day. [Groans/sighs tiredly] I ate some chicken. Yesterday. I’m going to eat my protein, er, in the evenings, because then that helps me to sleep. [Yawning] My sleep’s been quite bad because I’m hungry. So, that’s good. Day 7. Eyy! And today is the last day of steamed veg, which is excellent! This week I’ve felt pretty bad, erm, both physically and mentally. My health is kind of… pretty precarious…? most of the time, so, maybe,
other people… can do this diet; the whole cleanse thing? Is-is no. I want to just… lie…on the sofa and… play The Sims. Except!
Then I get sad, because my Sim me is, like… so impressive. She’s, like…she’s such a boss. [Laughs] Plus side! Means that I am really good!
At playing The Sims so… there’s that. I am, um, exhausted, a-a-and I stink of garlic, erm… but, you know…I can still find that silver lining. Watch next week for… to see how I do
with re-introducing some new foods. Also!
Also, are healthy foods actually disgusting? Important question. ♪ Lively jazz outro ♪

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  1. Wow. I love you! I went through this exact same experience and no one believed me. The symptoms are really odd, and vary widely. The headaches are debilitating, constipation, breakouts, fatigue, body soreness/cramping, vision impairment, etc. but then I would experience spurts of energy, and my mind began to feel clearer – easier tor remember and concentrate. Detoxing the body is a battle. Iā€™m proud of you!

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